Dear self

I've read a few things recently about writing a letter for yourself to open in ten years or writing a letter to your fifteen year old self, etc, etc. It got me thinking about what we worry about as it seems that telling your 15 / 40 year old self that you're worrying about nothing is the point of the exercise. I find that a lot of the time I worry about exactly the same things as I worried about when I was 15 and I can't see that changing. Granted I've added a few things to the list...muffin tops and mortgages to mention a few and taken a few away - for example I no longer worry about not having money for drinking...give me a little credit - I have learned the art of prioritising over the years. Equally, the thought of not having someone to sit with at lunch doesn't send me to the toilets to hide with embarrassment. At the ripe old (unsociable) age of 28 I'm more likely to hide in the toilets to avoid sitting with someone at lunch - although I do work with engineers (sorry guys.)

I wish I could tell myself at 15 not to worry what people think, but she'd smartly retort that I still do. My teenage self would love my disposable income & the luxury of buying shoes, accessories & wine if not when I want at least as long as my plastic stays fantastic (gracias señor Visa!) but she'd hate having a mortgage & bills to pay each month. Oh yeah, so do I. And as for what my 40 year old self would say to my mid (okay late) twenties self it would probably be along the lines of "Stop whinging, you lunatic, you never had it so good" Who knows where or what I'll be in 12 years time, so I can't reliably predict my advice...maybe I'll have witnessed, felt & marvelled (!) at the ability of the female body to...er...expand & retract, in which case I might be more tolerant of screaming toddlers who aren't my relations. Or I might be a raging alcoholic. If that's the case I'm not quite sure what my advice might be to my current self..."Atta girl!" perhaps as I enjoy a spritzer or two with friends?!

The point of this rambling post is not to convince you of my insanity, insecurity or ofttimes inebriation (though I think you'll agree I'm doing a super job of it) but rather to say that I worried then, I worry now and I'm pretty sure I'll worry in the future. I've often heard it said that when you look back you'll regret the things you didn't do rather than the things you did. Hmmm, I wonder if Messieurs Schwarznegger, Galliano & Gibson subscribe to that view? But I'm probably being harsh, I mean who doesn't have a few love children or anti-Semitic skeletons in their closet? I think what these gentlemen (!) regret is being caught...and possibly the invention of the Internet and it's associated ability to viralise their  indiscretions / disgusting racism in approximately 0.11 seconds.

Well, I think that's quite enough navel gazing / ranting for one morning...I'm off to check my closet.