It happened again. Honestly. And this time it wasn't just a dangling bra from a misbehaving backpack. Oh no. This time I was wearing my underwear when I flashed it. I think I should start at the beginning of the day – which was horrendously early (4am) as I had an early flight to catch. Those of you who know me know I am not the keenest flier, although am a frequent one. Super combination.
At this point I should apologise for the tone and general rantishness of this post as it has to be said that I was in absolutely poisonous form as I started writing this on the plane at stupid o’clock. And my mood hasn't got any less noxious (or is that obnoxious) as the day has passed. So far today I have managed to flash my underwear at an entire planeful of people whilst boarding a Skeezyjet flight, I’ve also made someone cry (an adult, before you ask – I’m not Satan), I had a phone meeting with someone at even stupider o’clock, which I managed to intelligently do by video whilst wearing not a scrap of make-up. To top it all off there is a child in front of me with the worst verbal diarrhea I have ever heard – I think he is literally practising every word he has ever learnt and his parents are letting him. Does anyone have a Diazepam?
The underwear incident was because I decided to wear a nice summer dress to try and fool myself into being in a good mood. Which was actually sort of working until I paid (really bad) homage to Marilyn Monroe and it blew up over my head as I walked towards the airstairs. Incidentally, I just Googled to find out the name of said airstairs and found some Yahoo Answers thread with the question “How do you board a plane?” That has actually raised the first smile of the day for me. I mean, I’m used to the twits who, when they reach security, gawp at the airport employee who asks them to effectively strip down to their underwear to pass through the metal detector, then gasp at the prospect of not bringing their ten gallon bottle of Coke and finally look well put out when asked to surrender their machine gun. I have managed to stop sighing annoyingly loudly – I do know it’s annoying – I stopped because I was annoying myself and I am working on not asking out loud if they’ve been living in a cave for the past 10 years. But that people would need to ask how to board a plane is a new one for me – I clicked on it to find out the answer (for research purposes obviously) and absolutely loved the answer “You walk into the inside of it, find your seat and sit down.”
To think that the anti-venom for my day was so easily and amusingly sourced – thank you Yahoo.
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